During our research, it became clear that it is not possible to understand ‘life after prison’ as a separate or distinct experience. Everyone’s life history, starting from early experiences in school and pathways in and out of addiction and prison, impacts how life after prison is navigated.

For example, our peer interviews showed how most interview participants had very discouraging educational experiences early on in their lives. They were regularly labelled as and called out as ‘stupid’ by teachers and as not capable of learning; singled out in the classroom and regularly spoken to disrespectfully and discouragingly. Learning difficulties were not recognised or diagnosed either. As a result, a sense of discouragement and deep seated feelings of insecurity were hard to shake off when it came to education for many interview participants later on in life.

This research participants for example recalls his undiagnosed learning difficulties and how he was as a result called out as ‘stupid’ by teachers in school:

“Like how many people I know today, like myself, I found out in university that I was dyslexic, do ya understand, in the second year of the degree. Now I knew there was something wrong because I was told all my life that I was stupid, I thought it was just me, ya know. And then in my 2nd year in my undergraduate I realised, I got assessed and I was told I was dyslexic and I thought ‘Fuckin hell, I’m not stupid’ which was a great thing for me because when I found out about that I seemed to excel at education, I stopped questioning myself.”

All interview participants have experienced high levels of adversity in their childhoods. They reported that their needs were overlooked by the education and the welfare system and society in general. As a result, they missed out on a lot of opportunities such as education, travel, volunteering, pursuing after-school activities, learning new skills or taking up hobbies. As a result, living with a criminal conviction and navigating ‘life after prison’ for many interview participants was not only about accessing education and finding employment, but also about making up for the ‘lost time’ of their youth.  

This research participant’s quote illustrates the multiple adversities he faced- from growing up in a poor part of Cork City, to violence in the family and the impacts of growing up in the care system:  

“Ah yeah, I’m 31 and originally from the Northside, yeah just give ya an overall kind of look at my life and eh it brought me to where I am now . Yeah, from the Northside, fuck, grew up in a dysfunctional family. My mother and father were alcoholics and there was a lot of abuse in the home, do ya know what I mean? Physical abuse and fuckin violence and so basically it went from there to ehm I was 8 years of age when I was put into state residential care, so I was in there from the age of 8 til 18. As a young fella I didn’t feel I was wanted or loved, ya know? But for me, my comfort blanket and my safety thing in a kind of a way was drugs. I fell into drugs at a very young age, my first ever roll up believe it or not was hash so it just kind of went from there and obviously with being in state residential there's a difference between foster care and state residential, ya know. Foster care, you were with a family, state residential you were in a home.”

As a result of serious experiences of adversity, a narrative amongst some interview participants was that time in prison was experienced positively. Prisons were often described as a place of safety that provided structure and a time to gain some stability, and a better option than life on the streets and in the throes of addiction. The fact that some interview participants experienced prisons as the first place in their lives where education and care were experienced, points to the marginal lives led by these interview participants.

Research Participant: “Actually, I’m not even jokin now but I was in a bad place at the time I was actually hoping to be caught do ya know to get locked up and get yourself sorted out or whatever, do ya know what I mean?

Peer Researcher: So you were saying you hoped to get caught, I’ll bring that back to me, many of times I was on heroin myself and methadone- I was also hoping to get caught.

Research participants had very diverse experiences while in prison; yet these were always factors in shaping attitudes towards education and employment after prison. On the positive side, prison education was for some interview participants the first opportunity for encouraging experiences with education.

This interview participant traces his successful further education into third level after prison back to the education experience in prison:

“The school, my last sentence there now I learned to play the guitar. I’d always go over to the art class in the school and the crafts and I’d bring a bit of that back to the cell with me ya know? Luckily enough, there were one or two fellas on the landing that were very good at art…. so I occupied myself with that….Yeah, the school, like I was gone out of school about a month into first year and it was the VEC, the education committee that was teaching us in the prison, they made a different approach to education and I kind of found an appetite for education again in prison. We say like I did my junior cert in Spike, I done the Leaving, I studied for the leaving in the training unit and when I got released they set up for me to sit the exams in Stiofain Naofa and through Cork Alliance then I got into UCC and I did my diploma and I did my degree basically just after prison sentences, ya know? Only for prison, I don’t think I would have any bit of an education, ya know?”

For others however, access to education in prisons was uneven. Many of our research participants reported that accessing prison education or working in prison was sometimes mutually exclusive. Also, a recurrent narrative was that access to education could be a matter of ‘luck’ rather than a right for everyone sentenced.  Importantly, our research highlighted, as shown by this quote, that dismissive comments received when trying to access education in prison can really impact on the early and often very fractious relationship to education. Coupled with the discouraging experiences of education of the large majority of imprisoned persons in their early years, these described interactions are disconcerting.

“When I think back of prison and if I went up to an officer and asked them about goin’ to school, I was met with, like they were intolerant of me, that I was fuckin bothering them, what are ya doing here talking to me? You’re not going to go back again, If I met someone and asked them a question even for a razor.. like, officer I need a razor ‘Go away ya fuckin scumbag, get away from me!’ Would ya go back and ask him again the next day? No, you’re not, so these are the challenges that are met.”

Other interview participants reflected on how those on shorter sentences as well as long waiting times for various support services were not served well by the stated rehabilitative aims of Irish prison policy.

“Ehh.. ok so there are a lot of supports in prison, how long are ya waiting to see a drugs worker? How long would ya be waiting to see a psychologist? What about the people who are going in to do 6 months, 12 months? Because there’s such a waiting list there, they’ll never get to see a drugs worker, they’ll never get to see a psychologist so they’re going and out, in and out, there’s no… they’re going in for too short…. those fellas need support as well. The fella in for 10 years will eventually get to those people and get the supports he needs. What about the 100’s of people who are in and out and in and in and out?”

Our research confirmed that navigating life after prison was experienced as challenging for most research participants, as the newly found freedom can be very different from the prescribed structures and routines in prison.

The release from prison into old habits or old environments made it hard for some research participants to change their habits in a sustainable way. This is illustrated well In this conversation by a peer researcher and a research participant (P19 are disciplinary forms used in Irish prisons):

“So you’re tellin me like when you were in prison, you were disciplined, you had work, you had no P19’s, you were never in trouble. For me, I was the same, I was never in trouble, I was workin, no P19’s do ya know, and the minute I come out the gates of the prison it was like ya know…. I had structure inside the prison but when I came I was completely back into the environment again, no awareness.”

The following interview excerpts show that being released into the same environment, provides little opportunity to hold onto the positive changes and hopeful plans made while in prison:  

“And then when you’re in addiction, you know yourself, jail, you’re up there doing a sentence, over the counter in the visiting box and you’re ‘oh when I get out I’m going to get a job, I’m going to do this and do that, I’m going to better myself’ but you know then when you’re back out on the street you meet up again with the old boys, you’re clean for about 2 weeks and you start smoking, drinking and then back to the heavy stuff then and after 2 weeks you’re done from the gear or whatever drug you’re on and back into addiction again. 

But do you know, you come out of a prison with a structure, back into an unstructured life, no education, no employment, do ya know what I’m saying. There’s drink and drugs around the community, no kind of peer support, all I done was fall back into… do ya know the only person who visited me in prison was my mother and I often got out and I wouldn’t go home for a couple of days, I’d go straight back to my friends usin and drinking, do ya understand? My parents wouldn’t even know I was out, that’s what was waiting for me when I got out, the same as when I went in.”

This research participant’s detail account of the day of his release from prison, which he says he will ‘never forget’, is particularly harrowing in terms of showing how a harsh release experience into ‘nothing’ can be experienced as particularly harmful.  

“So, it goes back to I needed that comfort and as I did, I needed that comfort and I fell back into drugs, it was definitely me getting released with no payment…Yeah, but anyway, I used to be going up to her and obviously she’s in charge of release and ….. and I was going up to her and linking in with different things and she was like ‘Terry, you’re barred from this place, you can’t go to this place.’ So, it came to my release date and I was thinking there was something set up for me. I never ever forget it boy, something that affected me in a serious way, the ACO [Assistant Chief Officer] brought me to the gate, the main gate, I never forget it, it opened and I looked back and I said ‘Where am I going? What am I doing?’ I said ‘Where’s my payment for one, is there accommodation for me, for two?’ And literally he looked at me and he turns around at me and goes ‘That’s up to you to sort out’ and closed the door. Now, I’m standing outside the main gates of the prison saying ‘Right, what do I do now?’ Now I had no payment on release, I had no stable accommodation, so as I did I walked into the town I never forget it, it was late that evening, it was half four or something when they released me which was late to me, it’s usually an early release so you can go sort what you need to sort, so I kind of found that to be strange as well.”

All research participants shared their experiences of how their criminal record followed them into their everyday lives, including apparently minor- yet also very hurtful- instances of micro-aggressions and derogatory remarks to more blatant rights abuses.

In this instance for example- and we have heard from many similar anecdotes- a research participant when asked whether he thought that a criminal record stayed with people after release- recollected how his record was used against his partner’s allocation of a social housing unit:

“Well, that’s mad now that you asked that question because there was a problem there not so long ago where me partner was after getting a house and they found out she was with me so they asked about my background, they asked could they get my files from the guard station, this was the city hall so they went away and got my file from the guard station and told her she can’t have the house over my criminal record and your record is supposed to be.. out of jail for years or something, for your record to be…”

Several research participants recollected instances where when they returned to their local areas to live or to visit, members of the Gardai would follow them and make derogatory remarks towards them. As one research participant concluded:  

“Yeah, to them, to the guards I believe anyway, they’ll always believe a leopard never changes its’ spots.”

Research participants very often expressed how important it was to them that they were given a second chance- both from communities, organisations and individuals:  

“The reason I’m saying this is because ok, because of the lifestyle I had and the stuff I done if I wasn’t trusted, even though it took a long time for me get trusted, at the end of the day not all organisations would trust me either, do ya know what I’m saying? But for me to move on in life, organisations had to say no, we’ll take ya for who you are today and I think that kind of helped me to move on in life and I feel the same for those people, if they prove, if they demonstrated they have changed, demonstrate through their actions…if they can show that they have changed, even though what they have done is appalling… people look at the stuff I done and think Jesus, that was appalling. I live in a community now and no one knows anything about my past, bar one person, ok, he’s from the same area as me, he wont look at me, he blanks me, and every now again I’d get all uncomfortable, ya know and unsure of myself, do ya know what I’m saying and I shouldn’t be but that’s not who I am at all today but that’s his stuff and maybe he has every right to feel that way about me but that’s not who I am today but if I was met by his way towards everyone, would I be where I am today, maybe not!”

Our research identified that most research participants knew little or nothing about ‘Spent Convictions’- i.e. legislation under which convictions can become ‘spent’ and therefore do not have to be disclosed during Garda vetting. Some had heard about the current legislation and efforts to improve it- but not one of our 13 research participants had been eligible to avail of it.

In relation to Garda vetting itself, our research found that most people with a criminal record did not fully understand the process of Garda vetting. Most participants found out about the details of the Garda Vetting process by hearsay and had no clarity at all as to who one could turn to for more information on support.

This research participant for example described the Garda vetting process for a work placement while attending further education. Throughout the delayed process that made him miss his work placement, he was never clear as to the details of the ongoing process:

“When I was there, I was just doing a normal education course… we had to go on work experience so you need to be Garda vetted and everything now for this and I was the first in my class, you had to send off forms, they send ya back address and stuff so they can send for the job, the work experience and the Guards never got back to me and the centre went back to them again and no , they never got back to them so I could never do work experience on that course just because of my record and now I’m going to college so I’m kind of wondering if this is going to be following me forever.”

Several others described how the very thought of having to go through Garda vetting could put people off applying for jobs or education courses that require vetting.  

“So, basically like, if I gave you a job today and I go alright, there’s a job in a building site, you need to go and get your garda vetting, so I’m going to tell you here now there’s the form, go away and get the garda vetting and come back, what’s the first thing that would go in your head? “

From this participant’s quote- like from many other conversations in our research-it was clear that Garda vetting is not explained sufficiently well and that this can easily discourage people with criminal convictions from applying for positions where they know or think Garda vetting will be required. 

“There’s no point, there’s no point, with your previous record what’s the point in going to the guards, do ya know what I mean? You know there’s no point, you’re not going to get the job. “

Similarly, this research participant’s statement shows the pessimistic expectations towards the outcomes of Garda vetting:  

“That’s what I was trying to get at… You’re not going to get it [Garda vetting], you know it and I know it.”

Our research shows that accessing education and finding work with a criminal record can only be understood by looking at people’s lives as a whole, their previous experiences with education and work for example, but also where they find themselves after leaving prison.

After being released from prison, settling back into the basics of life- finding a place to live, reconnecting with family and friends and above all, dealing with addiction and mental health out of necessity often had priority over accessing education or securing employment.

This research participant for example pointed out how homelessness after prison makes avoiding the ‘revolving door’ of returning to prison after a short while nearly impossible:

“Like most people are homeless and they have to go to Vincent’s and stuff like that. The way Vincent’s and Simon are at the moment, they’re like another drug factory, ya know so even if you came out of prison clean and you were homeless, you’re still going into a shelter that makes it harder for a person. I don’t know, is it better off giving a person a one bedroom flat or straight into a treatment centre, give him that choice instead of throwing him out the gate and he’s gone back into a homeless centre and he’s back in the drugs again and back in the prison a couple of weeks later do ya know what I mean, so there could be something better for them when they get out of prison.”

This research participant highlighted how a safe place to live after release from prison was crucial for accessing education and finding work:  

“I think if you have safe place to go, then you can go on and do it, a safe place to live when you get out, I think then you can go to the services and if you want education and want to work, then you can move on with things but when you’re getting out without a roof over your head…”

Life after release from prison was described by many interview participants as scramble and struggle for survival. This research participant for example described how accessing his disability allowance from before his time in prison, was very challenging. 

“I give ya one example, like before I went into prison, I was on disability allowance right because my back is fucked. When I came out I had to fight for the very fuckin same thing, it was 3 maybe 4 years to get back on the same payment. I had to prove everything, doctors letters, mri’s, do ya know all these types of things, they were all on the screen in front of them, all you’re waiting for is some fool to press the button in front them to say ‘yeah, he’s alright’. So, do ya know the way you were saying your back was at ya and things like that….  

You come out of prison and you have to go back into the social welfare, you’re on disability but they’re not putting ya on disability because you have to go over all this again. Yeah and within 3-4 year period I was put back on it [disability allowance] then… because I proved everything, I wasn’t lying to them, you know that kind of way, I had all the medical reports, mri’s, everything to prove my back was the way it was.”

The lack of access to drug treatment centres was repeatedly highlighted as what was missing when being released from prison, as these quotes from three different research participants show:  

“This is why Cork needs another treatment centre even another few, it’s the biggest county. I know you have Coolmine hubs down here… 

The generation that’s coming up now are using this and that and you know some places there you have to wait a couple of months, my brother had to wait months for a bed alone do ya know what I mean?  

Yeah… I know that’s what happened to me now too, I was waiting months alright and really what you’re saying is hurry it up, especially for the people that want it.”

In terms of finding work with a criminal record, many research participants highlighted that finding work was easier and sometimes only possible through informal networks and personal contacts.

“Yeah, it would [make a difference finding work with a criminal record] of course, yeah… unless you had contacts now, a brother who knew a friend you’d get work that way but if you walked into a site you give your what’s it’s name number and they do a check and on to the Garda station, don’t give him a job, blah blah blah. The first words are Garda clearance like.”

Equally, research participants often mentioned how it was only very hard labour that was accessible to them with a criminal record:  

“I do believe that having a criminal record can affect ya, do ya know, now don’t get me wrong, there are employers out there that don’t mind about that, that was you before and we’ll give ya that chance but not in the jobs that you might want. Do ya what I’ve noticed with a lot of fellas that have been out there, back breaking work with very low wages, that will take you on but something that you would like to go for, oh you have a criminal record, we can’t have it, there are people who open their minds but it’s not like it is. I know a lot, some are 45, 46 and their backs are broke because that’s all they could get when they got out of prison because of the criminal record and they couldn’t get anything else. So, these lads are trying to turn things around but can’t and they’re not even 50 and that’s all low pay, long hours you have to with this.”

Our research also found that people after prison often show extraordinary resilience when managing the problems they face and try very hard to remain hopeful about their futures. For people who have never been in prison, it is difficult to appreciate the resilience in these circumstances. Very often, these acts of resilience are not seen by outsiders who have not had the same experiences in life.  

In this quote for example, a research participant highlighted how additional interviews to access a college course requiring Garda vetting and which he successfully passed, were despite having support so difficult, that he could easily imagine others ‘running away’ from similar situations.  

“They wanted to talk about my convictions there but we’re happy to take you on to the program, into the college, on to the degree. So, that was ok, it was nerve wrecking at the time but you’re going talking about all this negative shit that happened in your life, you have sit down and have this conversation with strangers, head of department, you know and I was probably in recovery 4-5 years, I have years of living with shit all me life, even 5 years into recovery I still had no self-esteem or confidence and I didn’t trust myself so all of this was extremely difficult, like, you could see someone saying ‘Fuck, this is too much’ and run away.”

In this instance, this research participant’s recollection of having his criminal past pointed out by Gardai who knew him, led him to leave his position of employment that he held for 7 years. This interview participant’s experience shows how the stigma of a criminal record is often very difficult to live with.  

“I was working for 7 years and we ended up fallin out, got back together, working away. I was working in a house one day and the guards pulled up and told them who I was and what I was doing. He told the fella I was working for, who I was and who I wasn’t, you know what I mean like. And I was in the van then with our man then that I was working he knew one of the guards and he kept throwing these smart words like thief and all this, you know now yourself like you couldn’t put up with that like.....I walked out because I couldn’t put up with the words he was saying....I was sitting inside of the van listening to ‘thief’ ...‘you’re goin to rob the house in a minute’, do ya know what I mean?”

Our research found that community based organisations such as Cork Alliance and Churchfield Community Trust in Cork City, played a key role in supporting people after prison. Across the board, their support was described as unconditional, i.e. people felt that they were not judged and could access support, even when they were using substances again or generally not in a good place.

“I was also linked in with Cork Alliance and for me when I went to Cork Alliance, I had low self-esteem and confidence was to the ground like, they directed me to build all those things back up. They also linked me into counselling, one to ones to guide me, a key worker, do ya know? And like for me, this is a one stop shop, ya know? It’s kind of great in a way when you get out of prison, when I got out of prison I found it difficult to go to the dole, the welfare, the probation services, going to homelessness, all these different places, you come into Cork Alliance and instead of going here and there, they can sort things out, through the phone, a conversation and I know sometimes I can’t speak up for myself, like I remember one time I was going into, I wanted to go into treatment do ya know and the probation was going against my funding and I went to Cork Alliance and I spoke to 2 members in Cork Alliance and also had another member in Churchfield Trust so they discussed to have a meeting with the probation services. So, I went into Cork Alliance and I had 3 spokespersons there for me…. by the time he left I had the funding…”

Importantly however, some research participants also noted that they found out about available supports through community based organisations only after having been to prison several times, through relatives who had used the supports of these organisations or by what they experienced as an ‘accidental’ meeting in the prison before release.